Prophetic Dreams, Fears, Anxieties, Reflections - Where the wild things are.

I am about to get fairly deep in this post (yeah, I do tend to do that from time to time). This is a topic I've been contemplating for a few days, weeks, months and even years now. Do you believe in prophetic dreams? The scientific and logical side of most brains says, NO way, there is an explanation for most, even the unconscious mind can be figured out. However, the spiritual side and eons of different beliefs tends to debate and disagree. I am beginning to believe there is more to it than scientific facts.

For example, did you know Abraham Lincoln was said to have dreamt of his own body laying in a coffin two weeks before he was assassinated?

Not to mention people talk of bad omens all the time that signify death or years of bad luck, such as witnessing a bird die, mirrors breaking, owls seen during daylight, hearing knocks. The list goes on.
I can attest to a few.

When I left university and began my career in 2006 I had a free standing mirror perched up on somewhat of a shelf, occasionally I would think to myself "Someday that mirror is going to fall from there," and late 2006 it did fall. Well we all know how the superstitious would have you believe, "when a mirror breaks, you will endure SEVEN years of bad luck." From the period of 2007-2014 I did, indeed have those seven years of bad luck. I lost my brother, my father, both grandfathers, my grandmother, and two aunts. If you average that out, it's a death in the family a year. If that's not bad luck, by all means try to convince me so. I do understand that people come in and out of our lives for different reasons, and that it is all far beyond our control. At this point I have been pretty used to the idea that people come and go and learning to let go can be very challenging. Two weeks before my brother passed away I dreamt of the exact same accident he was in occurring, I didn't know all who were involved, but I knew it was someone very close to me and where it occurred, a week after that a pheasant flew into my windshield as I was driving home from work.
Those are just two things that have happened that were quite coincidental, around the same time. Were they brought on by fears and anxieties? I don't know, but I know I've been afraid of other things occurring and never had a vivid dream where it lead to something happening for real.

I have heard of many other occurrences with people and strange events which had led them to believe they were precursors to what was going to happen. To tell you the truth, I don't really remember my dreams unless they have had an underlying meaning of things to unfold. Maybe it's just me analysing the dream, or maybe these prophetic dreams are part of who I am.

I believe my loved ones who have passed only visit me when they have a message to send. Whether its that I'm not making the best choices for myself or I'm running late, I seem to have someone from my past wake me up in the dream sending the message that I've got so much more to live for, I may be late for work and/or the bell has been rung.

Lately, since my father has passed, I've had dreams with two mountain lions around the perimeter of my surroundings, not causing me harm, but watching. I had a black bat attack my hand and then fly into a house continuing to try to escape and attack me, June bug land on my shoulder and then buzz off. I'm sure you're wondering what I've been taking at night, but I haven't changed anything. I feel like these are all signs of moving past my biggest fears, trusting my intuition more and moving on, I think they may somehow represent the lurking danger of not making more positive changes in my life.

I don't know where this life leads but I do believe that stagnation and remaining where I'm at will only let my fears get the best of me. One of the biggest steps I need to take is letting go of the negativity and stop attracting more in my life. Accept the fears in my life, which sometimes riddle my mind. This past weekend I read a lot on the subject of letting go, living in the moment and focusing on the future. I woke up this morning a new soul, I am not looking back. Here is a quote on fear, and more importantly drive. Whats' it going to be?

There is no time like the present.

Two months, what is the significance of two months.
To me these past two months have been the most bittersweet in my entire life. By the end of October we knew Dad would be pursuing as many rounds of chemotherapy his body would allow, and of course due to the state of his body and how advanced his cancer was we had our concerns. The rounds of chemotherapy were supposed to aid in relieving some of the symptoms of the cancer he had and prolong his life, very little of either occurred. I don't blame the chemotherapy for him being taken sooner, I do believe after the first round he had visible signs that he was feeling better, however after half of the second he went downhill rather quickly. In the back of my mind I knew I'd be losing him before Christmas, I had no physical proof, nor could the oncologist confirm this when asked, but deep down I had the sinking feeling, that crappy intuition that chokes the life out of your happy thoughts and prayers. One thing was for sure, I didn't want to see my father suffer for long, and he really didn't, the sickness could have continued for 6-12 months before he passed. The truth is, he wasn't himself for a long time, he stopped playing guitar, listening to his music, reading as much, visiting friends and family, he was sick, and he wasn't letting on. I love my Dad, I cherished every day and moment I spent with him from the day I was born, we were very close, there were really hard times,  but there were also really great times which outweigh the hard times. I've honestly learnt the most about myself through my Dad, he really challenged my thinking and decisions. He was the most warm person at times, and someone who really just wanted to be loved. I honestly think in 2007 when Nana died (his mother), Corey passed away and Pa was diagnosed with lung cancer (passed away early 2009) he began losing hope. He had Darlene, a very caring and loving companion for him, but he lost a lot of everything else he lived for... He passed away last Thursday at 8:45, I held his hand the whole time, told him it was OK, it was a very haunting experience, but for him, likely a blessing, he was at peace.
In the midst of all this I had the utmost support from my best friends and family. I could not have asked for anything more, and I promise one day to return the favour. I had my CGA convocation mid-November which Jacq flew in from Edmonton for, it was such a great day to share with some of my family. Another weekend in November I visited the Scandinave Spa with Amanda, she came from NS to visit. I also met the sweetest, supportive and talented guy who has added a lot of light to the days past, and I very much hope to come. All of these people in my life have reminded me of how important it is to take time for yourself, no matter what is happening, you have to live in the moment, day-by-day, and I'm much better off for doing so. Thank-you.
I am excited to see what the future holds, I know the celebration of life party will be great when we have it, there is no immediate rush because the weather has been awful (pretty, but awful). I am hoping a summer's night will suffice.

Over the past week I've snapped some shots of the ice storm, some from Vaughan, ON and the others in Annapolis Valley, NS. I flew home yesterday (Boxing Day) for a short visit. I won't get to see my Halifax friends, but I will another time. Enjoy.