I will treat this entry as I would a journal entry, becuase this is what I feel right now.... and I feel like I need to be released.
This past week has incorporated a crap load of rain off and on, as well as super hot sun. It actually has been sort of like a bipolar week, and I think it's completely messed up my brain (that and/or the lack of sleep/drinking/occasional hoot). Why is it that when the combination of these things occur the brain matter rumbles and spits out garbage for your mind to deal with. I blame it on the alcohol, it's the most depressing of the three mentioned. Maybe I should just quit drinking on nights out.....or nevermind, that won't work.
haha... for real though, I've had some amazing weekend nights, nice dinners DT TDot, walks around the city and inside the sky scrapers, as well as a house music night :)
So, lots of music and pas de adventeurs, so pas de photo for the blog. However I have had an amazing time, and I'm dreading my bestie moving back to NS, very much so, at the end of August. It has me wondering what I should do next, do I need to explore another city? I wish I could roll the clock ahead to see what is going to happen with work, and then roll it back and just live in the moment..... Ah yes, living in the moment... so easy when having fun times, so hard when it comes to the seriousness of life (perhaps this is where people drink and not dwell on the seriousness, or even dive into a book).
Food is one of those things where the big stigma associated with it is that it's not profitable starting out and you deal with a lot of bullllllshat.Knowing me.... that wouldn't prove to be an amicable situation for me to be in. SO, perhaps I should start compiling a portfolio of everything I've made, so I can remember the dates and times that it hit someones pallette and they were in love. Funny thing, this happens to me only so often, there is such a major difference in food when you eat it from someone who is just preparing it because they have to, and then food prepared by someone who LOVES, loves, loves food, to experiment and be passionate by pleasing their foodies (AKA Jenna :)).
I think one thing that's got me the most today is seeing my mistakes from the past in everyone else. I know it's part of living life, but it's so difficult to watch people in the same situation you were in years ago without wanting to help. Life has taught me you cannot help someone who doesn't ask for it, so I am biting bullets. I now understand how frustrating it is for people to watch their family or friends drift back to someone from the past who is completely and utterly undeserving of their love/time/care. It's complicated I know. The worst part is looking back and reflecting on how much you were used in the situation and that all you can do is swallow that pride and keep going until you reach the light at the end of the tunnel (AKA a suitable man or woman). This little bandaid (above right) goes for girls walking away too, not just guys... Letting go is the hardest but will feel so good in the end because if someone is walking, it's not meant to be..I promise. I like to think in the past year I've reached a light, it doesn't have to do with going back to undeserving individuals, but it does have to do with paying attention to the red flags and listening to your intuition.
Just be a fighter, follow the above motto, reach for those stars, screw the social norms and expectations. DEVIATE from the plan once and a while, you will be happy you did, and in those moments you will meet some of the most interesting people on their own paths.
See this tree to the left... he's a fighter, look at how many branches they've chopped off, and how he prevailed. That is what you need to be built of if you want to get through life. And... BTW, people will knock, they'll try to knock you down.... it's gonna happen, but just take a deep breath, remember, we are not dealt the cards we are unable to deal with, it's all about strategy.